JACKSON, Miss. – Today, ‘grateful’ great grandmother Linda Young is proud to say she is more than a domestic violence survivor. “I’m an overcomer,” said Young, who serves as house manager for Lizzie’s House.
Directed by Pastor Betty M. Robinson, Lizzie House is a holistic ministry which provides shelter and other services for at-risk women and children. It is also a shelter of restoration.
Young is among those restored. She reiterated that she is an overcomer. “I’m not afraid anymore, because I know since I became a Christian, I know God will protect me,” she told The Mississippi Link in an exclusive interview Tuesday afternoon, Oct. 26. So, what exactly has she overcome?
The Alabama native had been gripped by the cycles of domestic violence from her teenage years until she was about 61-years-old.
She left Alabama at age 14 headed for New York. She had her baby at the age of 13. “The reason I left Alabama was because I was an unwed mother, and I couldn’t make enough to take care of my child by picking cotton,” she said. “In the 50s, there was a notice in the paper where you could complete an application to go to New York to become a ‘sleep-in maid.’ And, that’s what I did. On my first job the lady said, ‘you are not grown. You’re still a child, but I’m going to keep you, and she did.’”
Young had left an abusive environment in Alabama, looking for a better life in New York, only to fall victim to more abuse and violence at the hands of a man with whom she had a relationship named Joe Thomas.
According to research, being able to call an abuser or violator by name is part of the healing process. Young appeared to mention Joe Thomas’ name without hesitation.
“We started living together, and he was very good at first,” she recalled. “Then he began to beat me. He didn’t allow me to raise my head. When I would hold my head up to look at people, he would say that I was looking at a man and he would beat me.” Young said she was so afraid of Thomas that when she would hear him turn the key in the door, she would just shake.
“I ran from this man for years and years, and every where I went, he would find me,” she said.
While all women who are abused do not get caught up in cycle of abuse and violence, many of them do. Young said that is what happed to her. When she fled New York back home to Alabama, her mother could not help her, because she, too, was experiencing and had experienced similar abuse. “See I grew up thinking that it was okay for men to beat their women. Men were not killing women like they are today, back then my aunts’ husbands would shoot over their heads and they would run,” she said.
Nationally, domestic violence has become a growing problem. “I have had men come into my life to give me flowers today and want to kill me tomorrow,” she explained.
The Cycle of Abuse, according to the Women Web, an online community for women, can be described as follows:
1. Tension may arise within a relationship. It may be the result of a minor disagreement.
2. Tension continues to build over a period of hours, or days or perhaps months.
3. Something will trigger an abusive incident. This assault may be physical, psychological, or sexual.
4. A period of calm follows. This is often called the “honeymoon phase.” The abuser may buy his/her partner gifts or lavish attention on him/her, often feeling sorry for what has happened.
5. Over time, the above cycle changes. More small incidents will occur, tension will increase, and the cycle will begin again. Both partners want to believe incidents of abuse will not repeat themselves, but they usually do.
This is also true in Young’s case. She said Thomas kept telling her he would not hurt her anymore. She would go back to him and things would begin again.
Young shared that one time Thomas stabbed her, and she was so afraid of him that she lied about it. “The doctor said if the wound had been any closer, he would have killed me. I was so afraid that I told them I was cutting up some greens and fell on the knife,” she said.
It was not until Young was in prison, on a drug-related charge, where she said she found Christ and turned her life around. “See I’m also an overcomer from being a Crack Cocaine user,” Young said. She was imprisoned for transporting drugs for a dealer. “God saved me,” Young said.
Friend and fellow Lizzie’s House resident Erica Bryant said Young’s testimony is a powerful one. “She is a blessing to us here,” said Bryant, who is also an overcomer of domestic violence.
One report estimates that more than 2.5 million females experience some form of violence each year. Further, almost 2 out of 3 females in this population have been attacked by a family member or a person with whomt they are acquainted.
Asked to look into The Mississippi Link camera and imagine this was her opportunity to look into the eyes of the men that hurt her, what would she tell them now that she is an overcomer? Young stated, “I’m not afraid of you anymore. I’m not up under your hands anymore. You cannot hurt me anymore.”
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For anonymous and confiendential help 24 hours per day, seven days per week, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY).
For more information or to learn how you can help Lizzie’s House, call (601) 969-9813 or (601) 506-4149. Or, email: lizziehouse111@yahoo.com
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